Filipinos (or Pinoys, as they prefer to call themselves) have a pair of eyes, ears and nostrils, two arms and legs much like humans. They pout and use their lips instead of their fingers to point to things, and they can understand each other using various body languages and gestures without uttering a word. At home, a Filipino family’s hospitality is renowned worldwide. They will more than happily accept over $500 worth of food and groceries, but will be extremely insulted if you offer to make even one grilled cheese sandwich.
To get a Filipino’s attention, just say “Hoy!”, or “Psstttt!”, or “Pssst uyy!!!”. If this approach fails, yell “DOG!” and they will turn around, fangs bared and eyes bulging, saying “WHERE?!”
They have an appendage called a celfone which they use to communicate with their herd. This body part, if taken away from a Filipino, will result in paranoia. This makes it easier for biologists to identify the Filipinos in the wild, since they have their individual IMEI numbers which the scientists can track. Filipinos immediately respond to celfone messages rather than any emergency and calls you can imagine.
Whitening cream and transexualism is very popular with Filipinos. Over half of the GDP comes from these two interests.
